THE VEGAN CHRONICLES part 1

Well, I am officially a vegan. You didn't know? That's okay, it's only been one day. But see, I can say that now. Cause yesterday I didn't have any meat, eggs, or dairy products. I was going to wait, like say, maybe 30 days until I told you (so then it would be legit), but then I decided that there really is no fun in that.

So, welcome to my vegan chronicles. I plan to discuss the goings-on of my new lifestyle, shamelessly promote you all to join the dark side, and perhaps even get some tips from you real(meaning longer than a day) vegans.

You're first question (if you care) might go a little like this. "Amy, what in the sam heck are you thinking deciding to be a vegan?! Animals taste good." To this I would simply reply, "Because." And then I would tell you why.

Really, there are so many reasons, but first, I guess is that I've never really been a meat eater. I mean, sure I like certain meats, but I've always adopted the philosophy that I don't eat cow butt, and then I thought, well, I shouldn't eat chicken butts, or their unfertilized eggs either. Which honestly, will be difficult, cause I like eggs. Or did. Now I must type as a vegan. If you think about it, eggs are half of a baby chicken. And that is just weird.

Yes, I read that book. And, honestly, as enlightening as it was, it's not the sole reason. For some odd reason, going vegan just feels right. Like my Taverniti jeans, or meditating. Except I hope that going vegan turns out to be easier than meditating. You see, I adopted meditating because Oprah told me too, and I thought it would be easy cause you just sit there and do nothing, but I am finding it to be ridiculous. Ridiculously hard, I mean. To sit still. And not talk. Or think. Meditating, although pretty much the hardest thing I do (yes, I know I have an easy life), just feels good. Being still. Being quiet. So, I hope going vegan will bring me the same sort of centerdness (is that a word?) that meditating and my Tavernitis do.

But don't get me wrong. I don't plan on being one of those vegan fanatics that throw fake blood on people who wear fur coats and stuff. This is for two reasons. One, I wouldn't even know where to get fake blood, and two, the only fur coat I've ever seen was at Emily Mill's house. Apparently it was her grandmothers. I don't know about that, but I do know that when we put it on, and slid down the banister it made for a much more spectacular ride. We used to call it the flying squirrel.

So, because of my transition to a more fantastic me, I had to of course, eat meat for just about every meal on Friday and Saturday. You know, to say goodbye. Forever. And because I had already made the transition in my mind to vegan, all of my final meals just didn't taste as delicious as they had pre-vegan, and I did not enjoy them one bit. Well, maybe the hamburger at McDonalds. This is truly the only red meat I ever eat anymore. Or that I used to eat. And I couldn't even hardly tell it was really meat thanks to those spectacularly fluffy buns, and delicious pickle and perfect catsup. Yum-o. This was in fact, my last meat thing I ate. I am sure this will be the hardest thing to give up. I know, I know. McDonalds is the home of the devil. But he sure makes delicious hamburgers. And because I am giving these up alone I am sure I will save many cute cows, I will earn a spot in the celestial kingdom, and my blood will run through my veins easier. Yay.

My other last meals were hot wings (used to be one of my favorite things) but I could hardly even eat more than one. Sure I love the hot sauce, but all the chicken skin and bone. Felt like I was gnawing on a animal bone. Oh wait, I was. Se la vie. Good riddance.

And, perhaps one of the most difficult separations with meat will be found in my hallowed Cafe Rio Pork Salad, hold the rice (may she rest in peace). I was convinced that just might have been the perfect meal ever. But knowing the treatment that pigs go through hopefully, will be enough to have me not craving this deliciousness.

But in all seriousness people, if you don't already know about the cruelty of animals, and the way they are treated you really should educate yourself. You could go here, or here.

In fact, after I went there, I even pledged to be vegan for 30 days. It was alot like pledging to loose weight with Oprah and Bob Greene, except I expect it to involve less sweat. And really, I'm going to try super hard. I promise at least to be vegetarian for 30 days. And by doing so, apparently I will make the world a more healthy, green, eco-friendly place. And I will save those lovely farm animals from lives of cruelty. And apparently I will have less chance of catching a cold, or other diseases, which sounds nice.

And if I ever falter, or am not quite sure about my decision, I can just ask myself. WWJD? Personally, I think he'd of been a vegan, don't you?