DETAILS

So, a few weeks ago, I was in a funk. Could absolutely NOT see any light at the end of this pregnancy tunnel. And I had absolutely no qualms about sharing that funk. People would ask me how I was doing, and I would easily say things such as, "Miserable." "Huge!", and "Go away before I punch you in the face." Yes. I was so pleasant to be around. And I am fairly certain that most of this negative sludge was coming from the fact that I was feeling oh-so-pregnant, looking oh-so-pregnant, and sick and tired of people feeling pity for me. There aren't a lot of great things about the third trimester, at least none that I was willing to focus on.

So as you can see, I wasn't exactly happily pregnant. I was in that stage of being so done with being pregnant, yet, you still have a good 2 and half months left. And well, I must have just been radiating my funk, cause my friend Kristin came up with this brilliant idea. She could tell I was just done, so she decided that we would schedule all these fun things to do from now until the baby was to come and just fill up my time with other things to look forward to so that these last few months would just fly by. She decided to call it the 68 days of Amy or something like that. We were going to fill it with massages and pedicures and just fun relaxing kind of stuff. And then a week came and went with nothing being added to my calendar, and my mood getting more and more sour. Not good.

Then, a few days ago I had a complete epiphany. And frankly, it couldn't have come at a greater time. I started thinking about the best way to distract myself and stop focusing on all the things I disliked about this baby not coming sooner. Get out of my own head if you will. So, then, going off my friend Krissy's brilliant idea, about the 68 days of Amy, I decided to revamp it, and so here is what I came up with. Technically I now have 58 days left before my scheduled C-section, and what better way to make the time fly by than to get out and do a little service. Something here and there, everyday to make the time fly by. Instead of focusing on me for the next 2 months, I've decided to focus on other people. Do a little something for someone else, each day. And since I tend to be a bit of a slacker, and could see myself counting pouring my kids bowls of cereal each morning as service, I decided that the service had to be for someone outside of my immediate family. Extend myself a bit. Get out of my comfort zone. And since I'm huge and prego, and can't help people wash their windows or anything, I decided to keep my service small. In the details. Cause really, I've decided that for me, the best parts of life, are in the details. For instance: A really meaningful, heartfelt compliment. A handwritten, thoughtful thank you note. A short, quick e-mail. A short, sweet text. Taking a neighbors kids for a play date. Baking a batch of cookies for a friend. Hosting a get-together with loved ones. Something. Everyday. And so I don't forget, I'm planning them out. Putting them on my calendar. Something to look forward to every day. Get myself out of my own head, and into other people's lives. Cultivate my relationships with the people who mean the most to me, and get back into the details of life.

And then because sometimes I second guess myself, come up with a killer idea (like this one) and then a day or so later, decide the whole idea is lame and never follow through, God sent me a big old sign. A sign that this was absolutely the thing I MUST do, if I am to survive. Out of nowhere I heard a slice of a song, that I've heard and sung myself probably hundreds of time. Perhaps even thousands. But today, when I heard it, it was as if I was hearing it all over again for the first time. Solidified my need to get out of myself and into the next 58 days of life. Into the details.

"Give" Said The Little Stream

give said the little stream.

give oh give. give oh give.

give said the little stream as it hurried down the hill.

i'm small i know but wherever i go

the grass grown greener still.

singing singing all the day.

give away. oh give away.

singing singing all the day.

give oh give away.

So, if you happen to get a strange compliment, text, e-mail or thank you note in the mail from yours truly in the next two months, just know that you're helping. In ways you wouldn't even realize. Helping me get out of and beyond myself. Helping me to cultivate and create a nest of positivity, and thankfulness, and gratefulness, and love for this baby to come home to. And a mentally healthy and happy mommy to hover over that nest. So, even though I'm not small, and well actually a bit large, I can still make the grass grow greener still, and can absolutely give oh give away. And suddenly, almost in a magical sort of way, even if only slightly, I'm beginning to see a sliver of light at the end of that tunnel. Yep, just a sliver, but something is definitely there. Here's to living life in the details!