JOKE OF THE DAY

Hands down the best thing I heard all day yesterday.


Me: What do you get when you mix a brown chicken with a brown cow?


You: What the heck is she talking about?


Me: Brownchickenbrowncow.




bwahahahahahahahah. I laughed out loud for a good minute. Seriously.

OKAY, SERIOUSLY?

Okay, so I really want to discuss the awesome-ness that is project runway. I mean, I really do. I want to discuss Natalie Portman and her cameo. I want to discuss Suede and his annoying habbit of talking about himself in the third person. I want to discuss Stella and her ridiculous notion that every challenge should include leather. I want to discuss Korto and why on earth she would think those wings would be flattering. And I want to discuss just how much Kenley is growing on me, and how much I enjoy her designs. I want to discuss all of these things. But I just can't. You see I just can't get past the fact that during this episode, my eyes were opened to something so shocking, I just can't seem to get past it, or let it go.

What could possibly be so upsetting, you might wonder?


Well, I searched high and low for a picture, or video proof, but alas I couldn't find any. But during last weeks episode, the camera caught Kieth from the back, and I almost died. Friends, say a prayer now for Kieth, because well, Kieth has a ponytail. There I said it. And it's true. Totally shaved head, and then boom. A little rattail pony growing down his neck.


And I really don't know what else to say. I'm devastated. Do guys still really rock the ponytail in 2008? Can I continue to root for Kieth while trying to ignore to ponytail? I don't think it can happen. Can Kieth still be my homeboy with a rattail?

SOME PEOPLE ARE RIDICULOUS

Did you know that this is a chair?


Did you know that people actually go here, and pay $850.00 for this chair?


Seriously now people.

"THANKYOU FOR BEING A FRIEND"

Estelle Getty star of one of the greatest cable shows ever, passed away today at age 84. She was a great comedic actress. I used to watch this show now and again when I was a kid, but really grew fond of the ladies, when I was prego, and the size of a small tanker, and therefore couldn't sleep well, so I would turn on Lifetime late at night and watch the Golden Girls. Didn't really appreiciate the comedy of this show until I was an adult. Thanks for all the laughs Sophia. RIP.

THING 1 TRIES VERY HARD TO THROW HIS MOTHER UNDER THE BUS.

So, today I was doing my good deed for the day and taking my friend Amy who just had a new baby a little gift for her and her 3 year old daughter. Normally you see, in Zion, people take in a meal to a family who has a new arrival. You know, to help ease the burden. But not me. No. I don't ease burdens well. Uh, just kidding. You see I don't cook. Well, I take that back. I can make a mean package of top ramen, canned soup, and cereal if you can call that cooking. But no, I don't cook. I do something better. I shop. So, people in my hood don't get dinner from me. They get gifts. Lucky them. No, really, lucky them. I pretty sure I'm the worst cook ever. And yes, I know, I'm mormon. Such a disgrace to my people. But don't worry, I know how to knit, you know just in case.

Okay, where was I? Oh yes, over at my friend Amy's house. Chatting with her about how the baby is doing. You know, sleeping, eating, and other exciting stuff. When out of the blue, to my total embarassment and shock, Thing 1 announces:



"Did you know my mom is going to have a baby soon too?"



Uhhh, WHAT?!?!


I quickly turn beet red, and look at her, and say as fast as possible, "No, I have no idea, why he said that. We are NOT having a baby any time soon. Ever again really."


But my friend, just looks at me, and smiles and says, not out loud, but in her smile, "It's okay, Thing 1 spilled the beans. I won't tell anyone. How exciting."


I just stood there, and said again, you know so she would be sure, "I don't know where he comes up with this stuff. We are NOT having a baby. Thing 1, you can't just say things like that that aren't true."

And he just says, "Yes, we are."


And I say a little louder, and in that total mom tone of shut-up-now-or-I-will-ground-you-forever-and-arrange-your-marriage "No, we are NOT."



Then I said, it was time to leave And that I thought her new baby was adorable. Cause I quickly realized this was getting wierder, and stranger, and super akward. And all the while, she just kept smiling that smile. Thinking that she is the first one to hear our great news. Except it's just three-year-old made-up news.


So, yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have a few more of those looks and smiles from other people this week at church. That should be fun. I love mormon ladies.



And just for the reccord people.


I AM NOT EXPECTING. EVER. TO GET PREGNANT AGAIN. EVER. THERE IS NO BABY IN THIS BELLY. NO BUN IN THIS OVEN. NADA. ZIP. ZILCH. COMPRENDO?

KIETH IS MY HOMEBOY

Okay, so as I was perusing the Bravo blog to check in on all the new contestants for tonight's premiere (I know I am totally obsessed. Do they have reality TV rehab? If so, I need some. bad.). And guess what? Only the most amazing thing ever, really. There is a contestant on Project Runway this season from Salt Lake! Shout Out!! Holla!!! Zion in da hizzouse!!!

Bloggers, I'd like you to meet Kieth. He is 26, and from the land of Zion, although really, if he is a designer, and male, chances are, he's probably not into the whole Zion thang, if you get my drift. Although there have been a few, and let me really stress few, straight males on the show sprinkled amongst the past seasons. So really, you never know.

Why is it that when I hear someone is from SLC and on a reality show, it's like I feel an instant bond? Connection, like you know, maybe we've eaten at the same Training Table or something? Does anyone know Kieth? Or know a guy in your ward, who's sister lives by his uncle or something? Cause really, I'd love to get some dirt on him, since this is the only thing I know about him. This little blurb off the Bravo website.

"Get noticed or go home" is Keith's signature saying and he lives and designs by that mantra. He admits to being a self-taught designer with a background in marketing and advertising. While always having a hidden passion for women's clothing, Keith didn't pursue his dream until asked if he was interested in working on a fashion show while producing artwork for clothing. He bought his own sewing machine two weeks before that show and has been designing ever since. He hopes to be original and marketable when it comes to the runway. "

Hmmmmm. Just hope this guy doesn't suck it up in his first competition, and sew sequins all over some leopard print fabric and turn it into a "noticeable" cocktail dress. Hey, I'm just sayin'. There is a fine line between fierce, ferosh, and not-so-ferosh.

Go Kieth!

1, 2, 3, 4 MONSTERS DANCING CROSS THE FLOOR

Saw this the other day with the kiddos, and I meant to post it, but forgot. Just yesterday Thing 2 was trying to count to ten, but kept leaving 7 & 8 out, and Hubs blamed it on too much Feist playing in the car. So, I'm glad they shortened this song down. Otherwise there would have been a whole lotta confused kiddos out there. But you gotta love Sesame Street.

There is just something about dancing monsters that makes me smile!

Enjoy!

NUTSO

So, yesterday as Hubs was making fun of my breakfast choice, he assured me that I was the only one left on the planet who still ate these.

Of course, I explained to him how business works, that whole supply and demand thing. You know, cause they still sell it at the store, so someone else must enjoy the Grape Nuts as well.

Nope, he said. He insured me that I was the last one one the planet that ate these willingly. And even if I wasn't the only one who ate them, surely I was the only one who ate them and enjoyed it.

I don't know. Maybe it's because I grew up in a house where sugar cereals were banned, but I just prefer a substantial bowl of grape nuts to a pilthy bowl of cocoa puffs. I don't know, call me crazy. But Grape Nuts? They are a little slice of nutty heaven in my not-so-humble opinion.

But now his annoying little comment is really bugging me. So, I must ask. Am I really the only one who enjoys a nice bowl of Grape Nuts? Please say it ain't so.

WE GOT "JOYCE-ED"

Okay, I've got something very serious, and very important to discuss, and hopefully get your opinion on. And that is:


When is it too early to call someone on the phone? And let me clarify, on their home phone.


And you might be wondering what would prompt such a ridiculous post, and you might not. But of course you are going to find out anyway.



So one day last week, that was in my opinion, an especially good morning for sleeping in by the way, I was awakened by the piercing ringing of my home phone on my nightstand at exactly 6:57. My only thought was, whoever is calling better be on fire, in jail, or dead, cause it is too early to be talking to anyone. Even my husband and children. But the person on the other end, was alas, not on fire, or in jail, or dead. Nope. It was just our neurotic, exuberant, very enthusiastic, and apparently boundary-lacking neighbor And this was her reasoning for waking us all up: Apparently someone from our house had called her house at 7 pm last night and didn't leave a message and she wanted to know what that call was all about. And I just told her in my most groggy voice I could muster, that I didn't know. Because I didn't. And she said okay. And then there was an awkward pause (where I hope she was looking at the clock and realizing the error of her ways), and then I asked her if there was anything else I could help her with at this early hour. She said no. And I hung up.



So yeah, I'm not exactly a morning person. But really? Seven a.m.? You have got to be kidding me. So, after complaining about this in person to every one I know, I have now decide to take my issue to the bloggers.


And it begs the question: Just how early is too early? What exactly is the cut-off call time in the morning? And while we are at it, How late is too late? Cut off call time in the evening?


Cause really, I don't want to ever, ever be that annoying neighbor who calls too early or too late about something totally and completely un-important.

And of course, if your house is on fire, you are in jail, or you need to remind me about something I have to be to at 8, then by all means, please call.



But for everyday phone calls, what is the appropriate cut-off time?

LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED

Last night on our way to the ward ice cream social, Thing 1, being three, was worried about there being enough ice cream for him. And I don't know if maybe it's because we were running a little late, or maybe it's because he has a self-esteem the size of Texas, but as we pulled up into the parking lot and got out of the car he said, "Now that we are here mom, the party can finally start."


Well said, Thing 1, well said. And I couldn't agree more.



Hubs and I just looked at each other and giggled. Three year-olds rock.

RANDOM THOUGHTS THIS RANDOM FRIDAY. AND FOR DARN SAKES, COMMENT ALREADY!

Okay, so I've been thinking. Are you all aware that the point to blogging is more than just posting random crap? (yes, there is a point to blogging you smart-alecs). The point is, unlike normal websites, blogs have a fun little thing at the bottom of each post, titled Comments. Yes, this is the fun of blogging. You can throw things out there to the world via your blog, then all your readers can comment and tell you if you suck, or you are right on the mark. Or whatever. The point is people, not just to read, but to participate. Really, it's what makes blogging fun. And since I'm vain, and nosy and have a blog counter I know just exactly how many of you naptime readers there are out there. And I also have a brain, and can see that each of my posts averages zero comments. And you see, that is sad. Because the point of blogging, besides airing your dirty laundry, and embarrassing you loved ones, is to have a conversation. With your readers. About your posts. About life. Its about connecting. I share, you share, we all share. Isn't that a Barney song? Well, it's also my new blog motto.


So, I got to thinking, maybe you people just don't know how to comment. So, here is your commenting tutorial. Ready?


Okay, so say I post something that you hate. Or like. Or just think is the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard. So you want to tell me, and the world so. What you do, is take your mouse, and hover the arrow over the comment link. Yep. Then, click. A little box will then come up allowing for you a place to type your comment. Then, type your comment. Okay, now here is where it gets tricky. After you've said your peace, you can either post through your google/blogger account, or if you don't have one, you can click on the anonymous circle, and then you can comment anonymously. Even if you don't have your own blog. And I am totally okay with that. As long as you comment. You see, I'm starting to think I'm failing at this whole blogging thing. Because no one comments. And I'd rather have mean, anonymous comments than none at all. And really if you click the anonymous option you really will be. I will have no idea who posted it. Ever. But, if you want me to sleep well at night, you could still click on the anonymous circle, and then, at the end of your message, sign your name. Yes, that would be really nice. Lovely even. The point people? Comment.


And because I've never really liked hypocrites, I will try to comment more on your blogs too. Fair? Fair. And, if you are a blog stalker, awesome. I would still love to hear from you. Anonymously even.


Okay, so to encourage your comments, I thought I'd discuss a few of my recent random thoughts. You might also have this same thought. That might be something to comment about. Or you might think I need to go jump in a lake and drown. This is also a thought, and could become a comment as well. Okay, so here goes nothing.




1. This is something I learned from my daily gossip blog today. Okay, now don't go judging me. Gossip blogs are wholesome and also faith-promoting. Cause each time I read them, I feel as though I then immediately need to go and read my scriptures. See. Faith promoting. Okay, so apparently, and again, my source is very iffy, but this screencap below was an actual question on Jeopardy! last night.
and I think the "duh" just adds a little something, don't you think? And after seeing this question I'm wondering why I'm sticking around my current job. I so need to be on Jeopardy!



2. Is anyone else excited to see this movie? Okay, really, not me either. Cause I'd rather stick my fingers in a blender than see a comic book action movie, but apparently this little film is expected to gross 160 million it's opening weekend! That is just crazy. Apparently I need to start reading comic books, and the make a movie about them. And then retire fat, happy, and rich.

3. Is anyone else impressed with the amount of bling that Mary is able to pull together in one outfit on SYTYCD? I swear, she just gets gaudier, and gaudier with each episode. The sparkly shirt, all the shiny jewelry, the fake lashes with glitter on them. I swear, it seems like she has the same wardrobe lady as the Vegas showgirls. All she is missing is the feathers.

4. I do not have a picture to go along with this random thought, but it's in my head, so there. Okay, so what is with Celebs naming their kids the craziest things ever? First, well, first there was Apple, and then Cocoa. And the J.Lo named her kids Max and Emme after the Dragontale kids, and then Halle gave props to Walt and named her baby Nahla Ariel, and now it's Nicole Kidman naming her baby Sunday Rose. Now this seems harmless enough but all I can think of anytime I hear that name is Sunday Roast. I know, I am retarded.

5. I heard John McCain was born in Panama, and therefore not a U.S. Citizen. I didn't really think much else, cause I doubt it is true. But I thought about it for like two seconds, so it made my random list.

6. Okay, so apparently the 4th sequel to the Twilight series is coming out the first weekend in August. And I know this is very Mormon of me, but I am excited as heck! I would be ecstatic, except she went to BYU, so I'm only excited. Go Utes! Oh, and is anyone else reading her other novel? The Host? I'm in the middle of it, and it is interesting. I haven't really decided what I think about it yet, cause it is so strange and different, but really that girl has the gift for writing love stories. Really impressive for someone who went to the Y.

7. Does anyone know where I can get these glasses. I have the perfect outfit, and they would be the cherry on my little ensemble sundae. Let me know.

8. Big Brother starts Sunday. And I almost, almost, feel trashy even mentioning it, since last season was so disgusting that after every episode I had to go see my bishop. But that Julie Chen. Just something about her. Makes me want to watch people do ridiculous things for money. And really, lets be honest the only other good things on TV are both on Wednesday night (see previous post), so that means I need to fill Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. And Big Brother does that for me. Fills me up. Let's hope they did better casting this season. Or else I might have to boycott this again.

9. Okay, so I might have a small girl-crush on Cat Deeley. All that beautiful hair, and those long legs, and the accent. Swoon!

10. I know there is allot of SYTYCD on here today, but these are my random thoughts people, not yours. Chelsie. Love her. My favorite on the show. I mean, lets be honest, there are a ton of other awesome dancers. Will, Twitch, Gev. But Chels. Just. so. good.

11. And eggs. I was thinking today that they really are incredible. And edible. Cheap too. And yummy pretty much any way but raw. Fried, boiled, scrambled, and my personal fave; over-easy.

Okay so these are my thoughts, this fine Friday. I hope somewhere along the way I have offended you. Or impressed you (not likely) or made you feel pity for me (very likely). So let me know. Comment. And lets discuss the sadness that is my life and my thoughts. Cause really, if you didn't think anything about this post at all, then I'm not sure you're human or American. So comment. Please?

WEDNESDAY NIGHT BLISS

Okay, so don't even think for a minute just because DeAnna, like a fool, choose Jesse, means that I would be boycotting reality TV. As much as I want to, because of that retarded decision ( I mean really, seriously, Jesse?), I just can't. Why? Only because two of my very favorite reality shows ever are coming back to the small screen this next week. And actually, as luck would have it, on the same night, at exactly the same time. I know right?! It's like all my reality TV planets aligned and bam! Reality show heaven. And normally this would be a problem of grand proportions, but lucky for me, I have a tivo. And love it. And it loves me.


So, set your tivos people, for Wednesday July 16th. First off, on Bravo, Project Runway will be back for it's 5th season, and I'm really looking forward to it, even despite all the broohaha surrounding Nina, and her job fiasco. Plain and Simple this is the best competition reality show (next to Survivor) out there. There is nothing else like it on TV. The ability for the designers to create such fierce-ness in such a short amount of time is unbelievable really. And plus, I've been going through Michael Kors-snarky-comment-withdrawal, and of course yay for Heidi and her long luscious legs, and Tim and his Tim-ness.

work that dress girl!

And the second show? Yaga-yaga-yaga-yaherooooo! That's right, it's who's house? Run's House! If you are any sort of loyal reader, then you will of course know of my love for Run & his crew. I am so excited for this season. And yes, I still watch MTV. And yes, I know I'm almost 29. And no, I don't need your cyber guilt trip. I already told you people I'm trying to make up for all the years I wasn't allowed to watch it. Plus, rev & his fam is kinda like watching 7th Heaven right? Only Rev is a Reverend, and the guy on seventh heaven was white.



Okay, so I don't know what else I can do. Really, what would you people do without me? Pretty much miss all the sweet reality shows. And then what? You would do something productive with your time? I don't want to even imagine.

ONE IMPORTANT THING I LEARNED THIS WEEKEND

Okay, so I have to be honest here and divulge a secret that I might later be hated for. What is that secret?


Okay, here goes.


That I have lived my life up until this moment as a closeted parade-hater.


I know, shocking right. Cause I seem so normal. And I like people, and kids mostly too. But Really. I hate parades. All the s-l-o-w moving floats. And the people pretending they like sitting on them. And the poor beauty queens in their dresses waving their arms slowly. And lets not even for a minute forget all the clowns. Clowns on stilts, clowns on unicycles. Clowns everywhere. Oh, and how about the crowds? All those people, just crammed along the side of the road like sausages in those air-tight packages you see at Costco. And the horses. And they poop in the road,and it stinks, and then someone steps in it. And ewww. And the really crappy marching bands. That you just feel bad for in all that polyester. And so, you can see, that I've really never understood the draw to parades.


UNTIL NOW


Well, this weekend people I found out just exactly what that draw is. Now, don't think even for a minute because I might be mormon, or because I have children, that my parade-hater-ness would just magically disappear come a holiday. No, in fact I will come up with almost any excuse to miss a parade. Fake a disease, fall asleep, forget it's happening. You know. The usual. Whatever I can do to not have to sit through that insanity.


And can you believe I have two kids? And they've never been exposed! Well, this fourth of July we had plans. To go camping. Far away from any parades that might be taking place. But, unfortunately our plans fell through and that meant that we were suddenly wide and open during parade-attending hours. And since I don't want to always be referred to as Scrooge, I decided against my better judgement to round up my peeps and take them to the good old neighborhood parade.


Now this particular parade they have been doing for years. It's always a hit. In fact, I think the last parade I ever went too, was in fact, this exact parade, except I was 7. And I rode my big wheel, in all it's decked-out crape paper glory, down Evergreen Ave like it was no body's business. And when I got to the park, I decided that all that decorating and effort just wasn't worth the slow ride down the lane. Heck, I could ride my big wheel anywhere, at any speed, at any time. No need to waste all my time and energy on a parade. And that's when I retired. From Parading. And I haven't been back since.


But, I pulled a Michael Jordan and reneged on my parade retirement and took the kids and set up camp chairs along the side of the road along with all the other stuffed sausages and waited for the parade to start.


And then it happened. First one, then two. Then pretty soon, it was too many to even count. Candy. Being thrown in the air. At Us. From everywhere. And it was amazing. Kinda like I imagine heaven will be. And I guess since the last parade I ever went to I was actually a participant in, and it was oh, about twenty years ago, I had forgotten that there was even Candy involved. I guess in my trying to repress and forget any and all parade-ness I had also forgotten about the candy. Wow. What a mistake. Cause I can tell you people one thing for sure.


Parades, and specifically the 4th of July just might in fact, trump Halloween as a better holiday.


Okay, now before you go commenting like crazy and get your panties all in a bundle. Just. Hear. Me. Out. Now, I realize I am making an accusation of monumental proportions here. I know that Halloween is almost a religion. Kids wait, and wait, and wait for this holiday. And it's almost spoken about with a hallowed reverence. Because it is the holiday of all holidays. Why? Well, if you don't know I won't tell you. But it probably has something to do with loads and loads and loads of free candy. So much, that if you planned it right as a kid, and wore your roller blades, and brought your pillow case, you could in fact have enough candy to last you until the next Halloween. I mean, sure the last two months were year-old smarties and tootsie rolls, but still, it was free candy.


But parades? They throw the candy to you. Yes. You just sit there. No, dressing up, no ridiculous masks, or face paint. No Rollerblades, no ringing. No waiting. No crappy smarties. Just lots and lots and lots of free candy. And you don't even have to move. Yep, we went in to this parade oblivious, and left with an entire backpack full of yummy, sugary, wonderful-ness. And it was in fact worth every slow float, and clown, and crappy marching band, by far.


All that free candy. How had I forgotten this? Did I ever know? Well, my friends, one thing is for certain, I won't ever miss the fourth of July Parade again. Move on over Halloween, cause the Fourth Of July is here to stay.




Oh, and I am also thankful for my freedom. Freedom to go and sit and have mounds and mounds of Delicious candy thrown at me. Yes, this is a wonderful country indeed.

HOW TO PRETEND YOU GIVE A S!*&T ABOUT THE ELECTION

Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

Gotta love the ONN!

INDEPENDENCE DAY

We hold these truths to be self-evident,

that all men are created equal,

that they are endowed by their Creator

with certain unalienable Rights,

that among these are Life,

Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

That to secure these rights,

Governments are instituted among Men,

deriving their just powers

from the consent of the governed,

That whenever any Form of Government

becomes destructive of these ends,

it is the Right of the People

to alter or to abolish it,

and to institute new Government

laying its foundation on such principles

and organizing its powers in such form,

as to them shall seem most likely

to effect their Safety and Happiness.

credit; thanks Ro!

RAGNAR RECAP

Doogle, me, Kristin, and Dayna around 3 a.m. Go us!

Okay, so the Wasatch Back Ragnar Relay. So, for those of you who don't know, it's this little race that goes from Logan to Park City which is approximately 180 miles. The distance is divided up into 12 runners with three legs each. Each runner is responsible for anywhere from 14-18 miles. The twelve runners are divided into two cars with six runners each. Then that vehicle is responsible for it's own runners and supporting them with everything from drinks, to food, to sleeping (if possible) arrangements. There are three major exchange points when one car of runners is finished and they hand off to the 2nd car. All six people run their legs and they hand it back and that is pretty much how it goes. (Do I sound like a wiki definition?)


Leg 1: Okay, the first thing I'd like to be aware of and change for next year, is that we plan and manage our time better. For instance, since I was the first runner out of car 2 pretty much every time we got to the exchange points we were either late or just getting there when their last guy was finishing so I pretty much was kicked out of the car and told to run. So I did. So my first leg started in Eden. Gorgeous little place up Ogden Canyon. The thing was, we were kinda late getting to the exchange point so I had to get ready in the car (just a tad wierd), and then hit the Honey Bucket (porta-potty--which by the way were pretty nice for a porta. Considering.) and go.


And with all the adrenaline and runners I just went out way too fast. I looked down at my watch and I was running a 8:15 mile! And really, I usually average somewhere around a 9 or 9 1/2. I mean, I'm awesome, but not that awesome. And then factor in the 95 degrees, honestly I was pooped by mile 2. So, I slowed down, hit every shady spot I could find, and every sprinkler left out by thoughtful neighbors (bless them), and just finished that 4.3 leg as best I could. Got to the the mini-exchange, handed off to Kristin and let my heart get back to normal, and then it was back in the car. Which I found to really be a challenging thing. No time to stretch or cool down. Just run, then jump in the car, get something to drink and get ready to cheer on your team mate and hand them water if they need it. Usually I don't drink on a 4 miler, but usually I'm also not running at 4 in the afternoon. Yeah, not really the ideal time to run, but oh well. All six of us finished our legs, and we exchanged with the other car, and then went down to our friends amazing house in Huntsville to shower, eat and relax for an hour or so till we had to head out again. And that brings me to leg 2.

Leg 2: Okay, at this point I had layed down and tried to sleep, but it wasn't really happening since I knew I had to wake up in 1/2 hour and run again, so around 10:30 pm we got ourselves together and headed to the second major exchange point. Except we didn't really account for all the cars and runners, and just how slow all the traffic would be, and so the other team was waiting for like 15 minutes for us. OOPS! Now, being the first runner, I kind of didn't feel so well. I was seriously nursing a pretty good migraine, cause you know normal people sleep at midnight, not run. So, when we left I downed two Excedrin, and, don't tell my bish, a double-shot espresso thing from Starbucks (I know, already going to hell) . Cause really, I wanted to sleep, not run. I was so pumped on caffeine it was funny. Problem was, I really had to pee. LIKE. A. RACEHORSE. But since they had been waiting for us for like 15 minutes, I felt bad, so I just got out and started running. By this time it was midnight, completely dark, except for my reflective vest and cap light. And did I mention i had to pee? But I didn't want to waste anymore time, so they kicked me out of the van, and I ran. And it was so strange to run at night. Eerie really. Complete darkness, except for a runner here and there, and a few cars now and again. But I have to admit I really liked that it was like 50 degrees. Perfect running temp if you ask me. So, the team catches up with me about mile 1, and I tell them to go on ahead to mile 2 or so, since I know pretty much miles 2-4 are straight up hill and I might like a drink by then. And since it wasn't so hot, I didn't need as much water right at the beginning. Well, I just kept going, and running to my ipod. All I can say is thank goodness for the person who invented ipod, and Outkast. They got me through. So, around mile 2, I see a dark black Yukon, parked on the side of the road, but no one is out and cheering, which my team had been doing, so I just figured it wasn't them, and on I ran (by the way, there were like 40 billion black Yukons there). And the party-pooper who's Yukon we were using didn't want us to decorate his car like all the other teams, so I kinda figure it's his fault. If I'd seen our team name I woulda at least told those slackers, to wake up and to cheer on their favorite runner. So, on I go. And up I go. I am seriously busting my ass. So I get to around mile three, figuring they just didn't hear me right and went to mile 3 instead of 2. But, no such luck. And by this time, since I was literally running straight up hill, I could have used an ice cold beverage. And honestly? A nap. But anyways. So, I just kept running. But, by mile 3.5 I was starting to get pissed. Where in the crap were they? Here I am busting my butt, without any support. Now, I'm starting to realize that that black Yukon I saw back there must have been them (those losers!) asleep on the side of the road. So now, I'm pissed. I want to be sleeping too, but I'm not. I'm RUNNING! So, by now I can see the mini-exchange point, and I'm just praying that a) I get there already, and b) that they will be waiting for me there with some sort of story about a porta emergency that Mike had to poo or something. But no such luck. And now I'm pissed. Ran straight uphill for 4 miles with nothing. So I waited for them for about five minutes and then I started to get less mad, and more worried. WHERE WERE THEY? So, I borrowed some one's cell phone (luckily it worked) and I called Hubs. Five minutes later they show up. I hand off to Kristin, and just get in the car. I'm so mad I don't even say anything. Apologies all around, but I'm still totally pissed they weren't even watching for me. But truthfully, by this time the caffeine was in full force so I was too high and happy to be mad. So, to get them back I just honked the clown horn allot for the next few runners. They loved that. Seriously. How could they forget me? Pitch black, and no one. Oh well. I survived. barely.


Okay, so by the time we were done with leg three it was about 5 or 6 a.m. Everyone is exhausted, and all we want to do is sleep. So we head on over to Heber, South Summit High School to be exact, where the final major exchange place was, to see if we could catch some sleep, maybe a shower and some food. Well, sleep was out of the question. Lots of people were laying on the ground trying too, but by this time it was 7 or 8 so, most people were just getting up, and there was music, and car alarms. Seriously, car alarm after car alarm. It was like a freaking car alarm symphony. I mean we are talking 500 teams, 12 people each, that's over 6 thousand people. Yeah, not much sleep was happening. So, I went and got some pancakes--delish-- and was at least thankful for the fact that when it was my turn to run again, we would at least already be at the exchange point, so I wouldn't just have to jump out and run again on a full bladder. And before too long, right around 10 a.m. I started my last leg.

Leg 3: Now, this leg was supposed to be my easy flat 4 miler. And I guess it was, sort of. Except for the fact that I had already ran twice before, around 9 miles total and hadn't yet slept in over 29 hours. Yeah, I was exhausted. And it was already like 90 degrees. This was the hardest run ever. And I was thrilled when I finally saw that 1 mile left sign. But that was honestly the hardest mile I've ever run. Harder than either of the last miles of my marathons. By a long shot. That last mile just did me in. I was hot, tired, and I guess I just didn't realize how much the lack of sleep would affect me. And I seriously wanted to go back and track to be sure that was a mile, cause it felt like two. But, needless to say, I finished strong. Did a cartwheel at the end even, drank an entire bottle of water and got in the Yukon and ate, I kid you not, an entire can of Pringles. I hadn't had Pringles since oh, I don't know, sixth grade maybe. And they were fabulous. All that salty goodness.


But it was funny, cause even though I thought my leg was hard, as soon as Kristin (who ran 7) and Dave and Hubs who ran straight up guardsman (about 5 miles each) started running I realized just how easy my last leg was, and just how awesome my team mates were. I was so impressed. Then Dayna ran about 7 miles straight down the other side of guardsman into Deer Valley, and Mike finished up the last 5 into Park City.


What I didn't expect, besides the sheer exhaustion, and just how many Red Vines I could down in 28 hours, was how much fun I had. It was so fun honking the clown horns, and cow bells and cheering on my mates. And hubs even obliged and wore the wig I bought him, while he ran up the Ragnar leg. There were lots of inside jokes, and things that we laughed about for hours that I'm sure if we'd have slept wouldn't nearly have been so funny. But they were. And still sorta are.


So in the end, I guess I shouldn't have been so mad about Hubs signing me up without my knowledge. Cause really, it turned out okay. Our team ended up finishing in 28 hours, which was about a 9 1/2 minute mile pace--but really we probably did about a 9 minute pace since we had about 30 minutes in there when no one was running. But, really, such a blast. Although, I have to admit, I was a bit, okay totally pissed, when I got home and stepped on the scale and, HAD GAINED A POUND! Only me. Yes, ran 13 or so miles and I gained a pound. Awesome. .


So Kristin, Doogle, Hubs, Dayna & Mike, thanks for a great race! See ya in 2009!

GRATITUDE LIST 06.02.08

1. Good friends that live close by. I see now, that playgroups are as important for mommies as kids.

2. Air Conditioning. Such a simple thing, yet so incredibly glorious.

3. Nap time. I never realized just how soothing silence can be.

4. The sun. I find I need light daily just as much as air and water.

5. Watermelon in the summer. Sweet, juicy, and oh-so-de-lish.

O Lord, that lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfulness. --William Shakespeare

TUESDAY'S TIP KATE GOSSELIN STYLE

Okay, so I'm not sure how many of you are aware of the loveliness that is TLC, otherwise known as The Learning Channel, but it is one of my very favorite cable channels. Yep, it's right up there with The Food Network, and HGTV. On a side note, last night as I was flipping through the channels, on The History Channel, another goodie, honestly, I kid you not, was a TV show titled The History of Dung. Needless to say I passed it up. But is that awesome or what? Okay, back to my post.


Okay, so TLC. Don't you just love this channel? It has such wonderful shows as L.A. Ink, Miami Ink, and What Not To Wear. But in my opinion, the best show on TLC, that for some reason I seem to be obsessed with lately, is the awesome show Jon & Kate Plus Eight. Have you seen it? It's all about this cute couple Jon & Kate Gosselin, who after they got married and tried to get pregnant, found out they were having some difficulty achieving that goal. So they went to a fertility specialist and ended up with twins. Those girls are Maddy & Cara (age 8). Then they decided to go back one more time, and ended up with sextuplets. Alexis, Aaden, Collin, Leah, Hannah, & Joel. (age 4). The show Chronicles their lives. How they deal with two sets of multiples on a daily basis. And I know it sounds kinda boring, but there is just something about it that is so wonderful. I'm not sure if it is the relatable relationship between Jon & Kate, or the chaos of all those kids, but something about it is just, well, addicting. Maybe it is because it makes my life seem really manageable or something.




One reason for the show's success is Kate. That is her with Hannah one of the sextuplets. And she is just hilarious. She is completely Obsessive Compulsive. She seriously mops her floor 4 times a day. And hates mess, and believes that paint is the devil. And frankly, she just cracks me up. The things she does just seem ridiculous, but then again, I'd probably do some weird stuff two if I had twins and sextuplets.


So, because it is Tuesday, and therefore tip day, I decided to give a little tip courtesy of Kate for all my mommy bloggers out there. And you can bet that raising twins and sextuplets has given her a great viewpoint on motherhood. So here are Kate's 8 tips on parenting. Enjoy!


Tips For a Smooth Household


by Kate Gosselin


Tip #1 Organize As a mother of sextuplets and twins, one of the best methods for keeping a family organized is lists! No one has the memory of an elephant! Keep a constant running list of "To Dos" and then cross things off as they are completed! My to-do lists consists of meals for the week, which loads of laundry need to be done, and which parts of the house needs attention. Lists will keep you and your family organized.


Tip #2 Shop on a BudgetShopping for a family of 10 means planning ahead and staying on a budget. The good news is that you can have healthy, home cooked delicious (even organic!) meals for a large family. Look for sales! Watch the sale papers and take advantage of store promotions, coupons and rainchecks. Keep a constant running list of things that are on sale and that you need at the store from week to week. This will avoid buying things that you don't need. It's also good to stock up on items that you use a lot of and that are on sale!


Tip #3 Prepare for Outings Plan ahead! If outings are well thought out in advance, it will allow for a better time for all! Always take plenty of drinks, snacks, clothing and supplies. Make a mental plan of how the day will unfold and then adjust it as necessary!


Tip #4 Count Your Blessings On days that your role as mom seems mundane and pointless and repetitive(we all have those), remember to count your blessings! Take a moment, see all that is positive in your life and the life of your children and it will give you that boost that you need!


Tip #5 Promote Safety Talk about different scenarios and what is safe and acceptable and what is not safe and what they should not do in different situations! Remind them to come to YOU as a parent if they hear something that they don't understand, think that is bad or don't know what it means. You want to position yourself as their resource person to keep conversation lines open. This needs to start at a very young age.


Tip #6 Provide Order A schedule will help everyone in the family. It removes the guesswork and a lot of frustration. It allows the things that need to get done to get done because life becomes somewhat predictable.


Tip #7 Reward Your Children Reward them for their helpfulness and kindness—if only with your words, this will mean a lot to them. They want your approval!


Tip #8 Make Housework a Family Affair Especially in a large family, involving all of the kids in the housework, chores, cooking, cleaning etc. This helps to provide family unity, and a sense of belonging. It also teaches kids to develop a strong work ethic. And encourage Dad to get involved—n our situation,much of what a successful mom is able to accomplish, is due to a very present and helpful dad!



Oh, and this is for my friend Brianne, who is currently prego with twins. Here is a link with an article all about raising multiples. I found it super informative and really helpful. You probably know all this stuff already, but check it out if you want.


Hope you are all having a fabuloso Tuesday!

MY MEMORY IS WHACK

So I was rollin' with my homies (Thing 1 & Thing2) when this song came on the radio.

I found it very sad and disturbing that I could sing the entire song, without missing a beat. And I'm pretty sure it's been 15 years since the last time I'd heard it.

It's funny how the really important things seem to stay with you.

Somehow I can't ever remember to close the garage door, or remember to take my vitamins daily, but you better believe that I can bust out Coolio at the drop of a hat.

It's the important things people.

"I'm an educated fool with money on my mind. . . " Enjoy a little Coolio on this fine Tuesday.