WANTED: A WELL-BEHAVED THREE-YEAR OLD

Is you life boring? Hours upon hours in a cubicle? Are you in need of a little excitement in your life? If so, then you may borrow my three year-old any day any time.

Today started off innocently enough. Came home from my run, Thing 1 was already dressed (in his swimsuit) and asking what we were going to do today.

My answer: Not go swimming if that's what you're getting at.

But, I decided since we didn't have anything else going on, and I'm still on a budget trying to save money, and I already have a membership to The Children's Museum I decided to head on down there.

This made Thing 1 grin from ear to ear. And Thing 2, mostly cause Thing 1 was. Monkey see, monkey do. We get there and all is going well for like thirty seconds and then, not one, but TWO school field trip groups descended upon us. I literally could not see my children in the sea of kids. It was ridiculous. I hate it when there are field trips there. It's like a zoo. Too many kids there to really have enough toys for everyone (which just means fights and tears), and plus the kids think it's like Christmas to be on a field trip instead of at school, so they act like hooligans. It's not my idea of fun. You should have seen all the non-field trip kids scatter in fear.

Okay, but that is a rant for another day.

After a fun morning playing we decided to head over to Costa Vida for lunch. Kinda like a reward lunch. For me not losing my kids while we were there. (joke people) Now is it just me, or do the lines at Costa Vida crawl? Soooo slow. And you can't blame it on the type of food, cause I don't seem to have that problem at Rio. So anyways, after a much too-long wait in line for lunch, we sit down to eat. Thing 2 spills an entire root beer all over her. Thing 1 burns his mouth on the beans--that, were in his defense, freaking hot. But this is not the end people. No, the craziness has yet to even begin. As the kids are finishing up, I tell Thing 1 to get his coat on while I clean up Thing 2.

Was this my mistake? Asking him to get his coat?

Next thing I know the fire alarm is going off. Flashing lights, blaring sirens, and chaos. Pretty much the things heart attacks are made of. People including me, kinda start freaking out and looking around for direction as to what to do. I look over, and Thing 1 is standing in front of the fire alarm smiling.

Ooooohhh that little rat. I run over push it back up, start apologizing up the wazoo for my little trouble maker. The security people come, finally--seemed like forever, quite a scene now, and shut of the blaring alarm and flashing lights. I'm looking around to make sure we haven't forgot something or someone in all the shuffle and people are giving me really mean you-ruined-my-lunch-now-I'm-annoyed type looks.

Except for one cute mom who just smiled and winked. Not sure what I woulda done to Thing 1 without that wink. Saved his life, and mine.

Walking out after our disaster Thing 1 asks, "Are you mad mom?"

Well, to be honest I was kinda mad. And embarrassed. And mortified. But we had a good long conversation on the way home about being mad, what embarrassed means. What fire is. Why we have fire alarms. Who should pull them, and who should NOT pull them.

Pretty informative.

So, if you are in need of some excitement in your life, again, my three-year old is always available. And if you decide you do, don't say I didn't warn you.