THE DOCTOR IS IN

Okay, so I guess a normal person probably doesn't care, but I'm sure if you are a loyal reader of this and my other blog, you probably know by now, I'm not normal. I'm a little bit eccentric, and for some reason I enjoy celebrity gossip. Actually, I mostly just prefer hearing about those stars that are around my age. I mean, how much do you care about Michael Bolton? I mean, really.

Now, some of you have expressed to me your dislike of my posts that are, well ridiculous. So here is fair warning. In this post you will not learn anything new, and actually might be dumber for reading it. There.

But if we can, I'd like to talk about my favorite train-wreck of a popstar. Britney Spears. I mean, I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and what with the tragedy yesterday and the near-miss a few months back with Owen, I've decided that we need to discuss the impending doom that I see coming to Miss Spears if she doesn't change her life, and quick.

Now, you're probably thinking to yourself, why does she care? And I will tell you why. It's because she is a mom. And I'm a mom. She has two kids. I have two kids. And it kills me that she has two young kids, and is acting so irresponsibly. My heart just aches for those kids. I mean, come on, their dad is Kevin Federline for darn sakes. And don't get me wrong, I think he's doing a much better job parenting that Britney is currently, but I'm not about to give him Dad of the year or anything. I'm just afraid that him being at all interested in these kids has more to do with money, than with any notion of actually being a father.

And where might I ask, is Brit's mother? I mean come on, get that girl some help. Or her father. Sure they show up when she decides to take her kids hostage and go crazy, but as soon as she leaves the hospital they all split. I mean, what is up with that? I realize she is a grown (mostly) woman, but at some point I think family should intervene when necessary.

And now it is necessary. I mean just look at her past. She has the craziest assistants she can find, obviously does drugs, probably is mentally not-all-there, looses her kids, and just doesn't care.

In my humble opinion, which doesn't mean jack, I personally think she needs to go away. Far away, to a mental hospital. Check in. Get healthy. Get clean. Talk through her shit. Get off drugs. Even get off her meds for a while, so they can see what she is like sober. She needs to do this pronto. For her kids.

I really, think she is addicted, not only to drugs, and alcohol, but to celebrity as well. I know I probably just made that idea up, but I swear. Other celebs try and get away from the paparazzi. Not Brit. She lives for them. Loves the attention she gets. She goes out at night. From convenience store to convenience store. I mean, doesn't she have an assistant for that kind of shiz? I haven't been in a convenience store since last summer. And that was just for a Slurpee. In other words, it was Necessary.

And hooking up with this paparazzi guy? Not a good idea Brit. What is she thinking? I realize that she probably thinks she can trust no one. Because everyone that has ever been a part of her life, has probably asked, or used her for money. And that must be hard. Not knowing who really loves you. But this addiction she has too celebrity, and attention is not a good thing. I mean just look at Michael Jackson. He is crazy. It's like he loves watching everyone's reaction to his crazy antics. And really, do we want Brit turning out like Wacko? (sidenote: I do adore Michael's music. It's genius really. Just think he is a bit mental) And doesn't it seem, like ever since her sister (16 yo by the way) announced she was pregnant, Brit has been acting even more loopy? Like she is jealous of the attention the paparazzi is giving her sister? (By the way, Lynn and Jamie Spears probably won't be winning any parenting awards this year either). Addicted to fame. So sad.

I mean, where is Felicia? And only you die-hards will know who she is. Which is probably no one. Felicia was her old assistant. Way old. Back in the day. When she was normal. Before the quicky marriage in Vegas. Before Kevin. Before the babies. Back when she was healthy, and sane. Man, I miss those days.

So, yes, this is enough Britney talk for one day. Just wanted to say, that yes, I have enjoyed her music. Her songs are perfect singing-in-the-shower type songs. And shake your groove-thang songs. Which are both good things. And I just want Britney to be happy. And get clean. And take care of her kids. Because I know as a mother, that it really (even if she doesn't like to show it) is killing her that she can't be with her kids. I know it would me anyways.

So I hope this whole Heath thing, tragic as it is, might be some sort of wake-up call to our dear Brit. Lord knows she needs one. And before it's too late.