Dear Anonymous,
If you are any sort of regular reader of my blog, you will know that:
a) I tend to be slightly pessimistic. And by slightly, I mean a lot. If you are looking for a happy blog, you are most definitely in the wrong place. So, if you don't like it, move along.
and
b) I find sarcasm quite delightful. Sorry if this rubs you the wrong way.
Most sincerely,
Amy
Oh and if that wasn't clear enough, I have decided to compile the rest of my hatred about the first trimester into one really pessimistic, really negative post kind of as a way to say hallelujah that I am officially as of this week moving along into my second trimester. Here goes nothing.
01. I am fairly certain there is not a baby in my upper arm chub. Even though it looks like it. I am officially in that I don't look pregnant, yet I do look fat phase. This sucks.
02. I am getting zero sleep. I wake up just about every 2 hours. Either to pee, or from all the bizarre pregnancy dreams. Then it takes me at least a half hour to get back to sleep. This also sucks. Especially for my husband.
03. I am absolutely no fun to be around. At all. I am moody, don't feel one bit like myself, and I cry at the drop of a hat. I cried twice last night at So You Think You Can Dance. It's pathetic.
04. I have zero energy. It's like my butt has an automatic magnetic pull towards both the couch and my bed. But I sleep like crap. Very frustrating. This sucks.
05. I have the complexion of a teenager. Enough said. This really sucks.
06. I am hungry ALL the time. And not that emotional hungry that Bob Green talks about, but the "seriously if you don't eat something soon, I'm gonna puke" kinda hungry. And just about every hour on the hour. This is no fun. I feel fat, and am fat. But I can't stop eating. This sucks bad.
07. Realizing that I have 6 more months of this to go. Ugg.
And that's about all the negativity I can muster up at this point.
Now, if you actually took the time to read all of that, I must also say, that deep down somewhere beneath my very sarcastic layer of fat, I (of course) am truly happy to be pregnant. Thrilled, even. I mean we didn't try to get pregnant for almost a good portion of an entire year, for nothing. I wanted this pregnancy. And am thrilled that everything seems to be moving along nicely. I realize that this is a blessing, as many women (some very close to me) have had a very hard time getting and staying pregnant. I get that. Maybe not completely, but in some sort of small way, I get it. And honestly, it makes me really, really, sad. Sad, that I don't understand why all women can't experience the joy of having children. Honestly. Sad, that all women don't get to experience the pure elation of hearing that heartbeat for the first time. Or sad that they won't get to feel the pure joy of feeling your baby move inside of you. Sad, that they won't get to feel what it feels like to be thisclose to the veil as your baby is birthed into this world.
But that being said, it doesn't mean, just because I'm pregnant, I'm going to tiptoe around the fact that I am, or that I think it sucks. Listen. I get it. Life could be a lot worse. I could not be able to have children at all, I could have some sort of cancer. One of my children could. I could live on the streets, heck I could be dead. (Now that would really suck.) But I'm not. I'm just a mom to two children, trying daily to get through this first truly terrible trimester in any way I know how. And if it's by humor and sarcasm and complaining, than so be it. I am sincerely sorry if I come off as blase, or ungrateful in any way. I guess what it comes down to, is I'm not really all that great at expressing all the good (and there is a lot)in my life. It seems much easier to talk about the mundane, or to complain about the bad stuff, or rag on some stupid celebrity.
So anonymous, I really am happy to be pregnant, and bottom line, I realize that that doesn't suck.
8 comments:
If it is any consolation I cried in So You Think You Can Dance last night too and I am not pregnant. It was just quite moving when the couple from Orem got to dance with each other. I just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain. I really mean it....I feel it. Listening to you talk about it takes me right back. I think we could definitely share stories. Hang in there....as you know, it is all worth it in the end.
Amy, being able to have children is a HUGE blessing, that being said, it doesn't mean you have to love every second of the puking, and crying, and being so tired you find yourself wondering what happened in the last few hours, and what your other children have been doing... Pregnancy sucks. Breast feeding sucks. I'm glad I can do it, but it doesn't make it suck less!! Just venting that people think you can't complain just because they think your life is peaches!! :)
Hey Amy! I came across your blog from a little blog stalking. :) Congrats on the pregnancy! Your kids are so adorable and I have no doubt that baby number 3 will be just as cute. I'm glad you responded to the author of the anonymous comment. A few months ago, my friend wrote a blog post about her newly discovered pregnancy and about how much she disliked the way pregnancy made her feel and someone left an anonymous comment on her blog that was similar to the one left on yours. It wouldn't surprise me if it was the same person because of the wording! Comments like that need to be kept to themselves if you ask me! Anyway, hope you start feeling a little better soon. I love your blog. You're hilarious!
amen. in my book you are not a pessimist, simply a realist. you have once again articulated my thoughts quite perfectly. i hope you start to feel better very soon.
I'm dying right now. Laughing hysterically. Yes, pregnancy sucks a lot of the time (I pretty much hate my life for 9 straight months), and I think it's just fine to vent about it. You go!
Ohhhhh shooot. Anonymous strikes again.
I would love to meet this anonymous. They write such biting words behind this mask of unidentifible information.
I've created the personality profile of anonymous in my head. I can picture her.
We won't be friends.
Funny response, Amy!
Here here to both Cory&Holly's and marci b's posts! and I couldn't agree more to Jamie N's post.
Yes, absolutely, pregnancy IS a miracle and a blessing, however it being a blessing doesn't make it a fantastic experience. I would say, watching Mrs Gearhead go through it, it is an amazing experience with fantastic moments, but there are a lot of other moments that are just pure suck and there is no getting around that. To anonymous I would like to say, I understand the sorrow of those mother's that are unable to get pregnant and I cannot imagine how difficult that might be. However that does not make pregnancy all peaches and cream.
I don't necessarily see an issue with comments like that or that they must be kept to themselves. Anonymous has an opinion and wants to be heard.
And yes, words that are so biting have been written behind the mask of anonymity, and I am of the opinion that if one is going to be so bold they should do it out in the open, with their heads held high. On the flip side of that, maybe she feels embarrassment because it is possible she isn't able to get pregnant. However, anonymous, it is not your fault you aren't able to. Nor does the fact that you are not able to make you any less of a human being (though there might be other things that do). It is of my opinion that you have another purpose in life. I cannot say what it is, but I am sure you feel it from within.
Amy:
Congratulations!!
Happened upon your blog from a google search on a t.v. show you were commenting on-love it and love your sarcasm mixed with humor!
A little trick for morning sickness that worked for me-put a little peppermint extract under your nose or suck on peppermint candies. Peppermint is great for nausea. I'm serious, this really works!!!
Louise in Ohio
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