So last Friday I headed on down to the Gateway with some girlfriends so we could take our kids to the Children's Museum. And it was so much fun. After they all went home for nap time (jealous!) I decided to let the kids ride the train (trax== since they beg me every time we see one) over to visit Hubs at work. And the way over went relatively well. The way back though? Not. So. Much.
After our short visit with Hubs we seriously waited for maybe 20 minutes for a train to come so we could go back down to the Gateway to get our car. We honestly could have walked there faster. But we just HAD to ride the train. Cause it is sooo exciting! So as we are waiting more and more and more people are filling up the stop. Lots of interesting people. FYI--there are some crazy peeps that ride Trax. Especially in the free zone! So, since I was a little paranoid of losing a kid or someone giving one crack, I put Thing 2 on my back and had Thing 1 superglued to my side. When we got on, there was no where to sit, so I found a little spot on the side where I could hold on. There were so many people that it was actually like you were invading-other-people's-space-uncomfortable. And that's when this little conversation transpired:
GUY: (TO NO ONE IN PARTICULAR) WOAH, GUESS IT'S STANDING ROOM ONLY IN HERE, TODAY.
GIRL: (WHO COULDA PASSED FOR A HOOKER) IT SURE IS BABY. (YES, SHE REALLY SAID BABY).
GUY: WELL, I JUST DON'T WANT TO SMASH INTO YOU.
GIRL: YOU CAN FALL ON TOP OF ME ANY TIME YOU WANT.
(Can you see why I was listening? I was seriously, like what the crap? Did she just say that? And the whole time Thing 2, who was on my back, kept saying she wanted me to hold her. And I was, piggyback style. And really, there wasn't much room to move, so I just ignored her. Not a good idea.)
Conversation continues:
GUY: WELL, I WOULDN'T MIND THAT. (Seriously. I then covered Thing 1's ears.)
GIRL: WHERE DO YOU WORK? (Cause that's the next thing you'd say?!)
(Thing 2 is still asking for me to hold her. I'm still ignoring her, cause really, even if I didn't want to listen to this incredibly interesting conversation, there is no way I could have turned her around and held her on the front. It was just way too crowded. But now would have been a good time to tell her that I heard her request and asked for her to hold on a minute until we stop.)
Conversation continues:
GUY: WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO WORK? (What? What kind of response is THAT?)
GIRL: CAN I CALL YOU?
THING 2 AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS: I WANT YOU TO HOLD ME ON THE FRONT BY YOUR NIPPLES!
Entire trax train goes silent. Now everyone is staring at us, well me, since she was on my back and you couldn't really see her. Nice. My face goes beet red. I just kinda giggle, and turn around a bit, so people can see that it was her, not me that said that word. And I tell her, the only thing I can think of. Which was--"we don't say that word". Now everyone smirks and giggles and goes on about their strange conversations. Talk about being mortified. And we still had 3 stops left. And not two minutes later I hear:
THING 1: MOM, WHAT ARE NIPPLES?
Um yeah. We won't be riding Trax again anytime soon.
10 comments:
Hilarious Amy! Don't you just love it when they say stuff like that in crowded confined spaces? Anna always talks about my boobs. Man, I wish I never taught her that word.
I'm just glad that it was little Thing 2 that said that and not the strange man to the strange woman. Although it sounds like their conversation was going that way...scary!
Oh my gosh- that is funny! There is nothing like children and what they say. I absolutely love when my 2 year old points at my boobs in church and yells BALLS! yep, those are balls.
Your children are freaking hilarious! It's always better when it's someone else's kids...
Funniest thing I have read in a long time. Thanks!
still funny the third time...thanks for the laughs!
Hubbs
Now, THAT was hilarious! I ride Trax to my classes at the U about 2 times a week, and I've seen a lot of crazy things (and people). But nothing like Meat-market-Mama and her boyfrienddu-jour. That was funny, but I almost fell off my chair when I read what Thing2 yelled. And then to have the other one ask what they were, whew. I'm still laughing.
I love stories that make me laugh out loud! Seriously, that was awesome! Your kids are hysterical. And yes, I am so glad that it happened to you and not me!
Thanks for posting that hilarious experience with the kids. That is the best story and one that I'm sure your family will talk about forever. You're pretty brave to try to Trax all alone. I'm sure they had fun though.
Thanks for all the comments guys. It's nice to know someone reads this thing.
What's funny, is I almost didn't post about this cause it was sooooo embarassing. After I let it sit and process for a few days I realized it wasn't nearly so embarassing as it was funny.
Glad I could make you all laugh!
This made me laugh out loud super hard because I can just picture your little girl screaming that...And of course she needed to get more specific than just asking to be held on the front of you because that could be anywhere! But by your nipples? You know exactly where :)
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